May

So there’s this “blog every day in May” thing going on, and here I am, letting my blog whither and die in May.  Oops.

I don’t even know quite what it’s been…But I’m hoping to pick it up again, and while I’m not going to resolve to post every day for the rest of May, I’m hoping to do a lot better than I have been doing!

So, my birthday is on Wednesday, but what is by far overshadowing that is that I have Part One of my Prøve i Dansk 3 which is my big Danish test (let’s call it PD3 so that I don’t have to keep switching back and forth between English and Danish keyboard configurations…).  I imagine it kind of like Mordor, casting its looming black shadow over the Shire (my birthday).  But the good news is that we’ve done a few practice tests, and I’ve gotten between 10 and 12 on all of them (on a 12-scale which looks like this: -03, 00 (which are both failing) then 02, 04, 07, 10, and 12)  Please don’t ask me why the scale goes from negative three to positive twelve because I am even more confused than you.  The important thing to know is that to get into the next class that I need to get into in order to take the next test which I need to pass to get into school here (whew!), I need to get at least 10s on every section of the test.  (I’ve been told that getting one seven might not be the worst, but, this is confusing enough as it is, so let’s just say 10s).  Wednesday’s test is the reading comprehension and writing sections, which is five to six hours of sitting and being tested.  Part Two of the test takes place on June 17th and is the oral part, which consists of me giving a monologue, then answering questions about it, then looking at pictures and talking about those.

I think that the anxiety and worry about those has been kind of squelching a lot of my joy lately, as well as Andreas being sick for a good five weeks, and then *tada!* I get sick with whatever it is that he had.  Luckily, I don’t think mine will last for five weeks, and I should be in okay stand to take my test on Wednesday.  So for now, I’ll just blow my nose every couple of minutes, and be thankful that the whole fever/aches/headache stuff happened over the weekend.

We’re also getting closer to August which is when Mini-Mine is due.  We managed to buy a cradle/hammock thing on Danish Craigslist a week ago, and I also got a nursing pillow, and we have a minimal amount of clothing (and some cloth diapers!) so we’re getting there…  What I’m most excited to get done is to set up some serious baby-stuff storage, so we have a place to put all these things.  In a less-than-500-square-foot apartment, it can get tricky to find space, but we’ll be creative, and luckily we don’t have too much junk of our own.

Being so overwhelmed with my tests, and other stuff in my life (mainly homesickness and friend-sickness) makes the whole baby thing seem a bit overwhelming at times as well, but what actually really helps me get excited for August is reading birth stories!  I’m not one to get grossed out about all that, and thinking about actually having our baby and being a family makes getting the apartment ready for a baby and adjusting to life here in Denmark a bit less overwhelming.  So for now, I’m just trying to focus on the positives, get over this cold, and ace my Danish tests.  I’m also switching Danish teachers (starting tomorrow) so of course, I’m nervous about that as well.  But as of June 17th, it’ll all be over, and I can maybe relax a bit more for a while.

I feel like I just have to hold on for the next month, and then it’ll all be okay.  It feels  a lot like how I felt before the last month of the semester in college, when work suddenly got crazy along with classes, projects, and finals, except this time, it’s just very important Danish tests.  I’m actually am getting a bit jealous of seeing everyone’s “finals are over!” posts and graduation pictures on Facebook, while I’m just starting over here.

I’m also bracing myself for waves of nostalgia and missing-people as two of my lovely friends back in the US are getting married within the next month, and I know I’m going to see photos on top of photos and wish I could be in them. *sigh*

Catch-up

So, I just realized that my last post was sort of a ditch of half-depression, and that I’d better get back to posting, lest everyone think I’m still living in perpetual “blah.”

I’m not, but honestly I’m not feeling the greatest yet either.  I’m still super stressed out about my test (both written and oral), fairly discouraged (depending on the day), and anxious about the future.  But…The trees are for real budding, and it hasn’t reached below freezing in probably two weeks now!  The bad news is that Andreas is still sick.  Still!  It’s been one thing after another, and if he isn’t sick for a day, he has allergies, but finally he’s going to see our doctor about it all and maybe get a referral to find out what he’s actually allergic to.  But his being sick meant that our three-day weekend (thank you Big Praying Day!), while not exactly a bust, wasn’t super fantastic either.  We’re crossing our fingers (yet again) for another good-weather weekend so maybe we can get out and do something FUN!  Like…you know…go downtown and use our Groupon deal at the super big candy store…

Danish classes have been going medium-well, probably.  The classes themselves are actually really good, and I feel like I get a lot out of them.  I’m also starting to feel comfortable with the other women in the class, so I’m generally not as nervous.  Except for today, when I had to give my little oral presentation in front of everyone, and my heart started pounding like crazy, and I spoke at a superhuman speed, and could barely catch my breath.  (Sorry, baby).

Hopefully we’ll still have quite a few writing assignments between now and the 22nd of May (which is the date of my written exam), and I can continue to get better.

In other news, I’m obviously pregnant.  As in, obvious to anyone who sees me.  I’ve been told I’m really big, I’ve been told I’m small, I’ve been told I’m having a boy, and that I’m having a girl.  I have yet to be offered a seat on the bus, but I don’t mind, since I’d usually turn one down, anyway.  Also, if it’s a short busride, I try to avoid sitting down, because I tend to forget to get off.  I’m not even going to pretend that’s due to what people call “pregnancy brain” because that’s just the fault of “Zeta’s brain.”

And in miscellaneous news, I made a chocolate-spotted cheesecake yesterday, and I am super duper looking forward to eating it, but I think I’m going to make myself wait until Andreas comes home today.  Just because.  I’ve also gotten a second (or, you know, seventeenth) wind with regards to the whole mealplanning/cooking thing.  I think it actually has something to do with the fact that when I have daytime classes, it’s super easy for me to stop at the grocery store on the way home.  This makes meal planning a bit less of a have-to-do-it-all-on-the-weekend-and-then-do-a-huge-shop sort of thing, and makes it a bit more flexible and fun, so I’m happy about that!  If I do the shopping by myself, it also gives Andreas and I a bit more time together in the evenings/weekends, and we’ve been using that time wisely.  By reading Mistborn out loud to each other…and the baby, as I realized today.

So now you’re mostly caught up, and I can maybe fit some of the more themed posts I had planned in the next few weeks.  We’ll see.  I’m trying to be easy on myself until my exams are over, since I’m super stressed out about them.

Catching Up (and a plea for your opinions at the end)

Life here seems to be settling into some sort of a routine.  On Mondays, we go to a Ruhi study circle.

*Sidenote* I started this blog post thinking I could get it done real quick before I went to sleep, but upon searching for a link for the Ruhi institute, I came across a Baha’i joke blog where I consequently spent more time than I had assumed writing this whole blog would take.  Oops.

Anyway, like I said we’re getting into a bit of a routine.  Wednesdays, I have my Danish class, so we have some sort of a salad for supper (lately it’s been Tuna Macaroni Slaw because it always reminds me of home).  Fridays, Andreas usually has badminton after work (how cute is that?!), and weekends have becoming less stressful, too!

We even managed to buy a TV last weekend, and although we live in a dead zone, so we can’t get any real channels, it came with Netflix and wi-fi, so it’s been really great to have a nice big screen to watch our movies on (as compared to my little laptop with the worst speakers ever).

My Danish class is still going well.  It’s still challenging, and even though my first assignment came back with a discouraging amount of red ink on it, I managed to not be too discouraged after all.  I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve never, ever learned this stuff (it’s review for most of the people in my class) and all I need is practice, practice, practice.  I’m already starting to get nervous for the Big Test coming up in May/June (the one I’m postponing my visit to the US for) but I’m trying to forget about it as much as possible.  I wouldn’t be nervous, but I have to get a B-equivalent to be able to move on to the next class which is preparation for the other Big Danish Test that I have to pass to get into university here.  I was told that if I pass, but don’t get a high enough score, I can retake it, but that I won’t be offered any more classes to prepare for the re-take and that I’ll have to pay for it myself (around $200-250) so I’m feeling a bit of pressure.  However, I’m trying to remind myself that I still have time to get better before May, and if my teacher at that point really doesn’t think I can do it, I can always back out and wait until November.  When I have a baby.  That sounds like a better time to take a Very Important Test, right?

Things have just been being good in general lately, and I’m trying to remember to be really grateful.  The Baha’i Fast is in full swing now, and although I obviously can’t fast because of my “delicate condition,”  I’m still getting up pre-dawn every day to make Andreas and myself a bowl of oatmeal and to say some prayers.  While I can’t physically fast, I’m trying to pay extra special attention to things I want to work on, and one of those is gratitude.  I actually think that I do very well with this normally.  All the work and waiting and stress that we had to go through to get to this point (married, settled (in Denmark), with a nice apartment and a baby on the way) makes a person really appreciate what they have.  But, I want to get better at remembering to be grateful when I go through my periodic bouts of the blues, when I get homesick, when I suddenly feel lonely and like I have no friends left, or when I run out of ice cream.

I’m also happy about being able to meet some of the Baha’is in Copenhagen.  This is becoming a little bit of a Baha’i-(and link-)heavy post, but bear with me!  It has been quite lonely here, and as probably most foreigners who have moved to Denmark can tell you, it’s not easy to make friends here.  Well, in my opinion, it’s not particularly easy to make friends anywhere, but especially when you don’t go to school or have a full-time job, the meeting-people thing is hard to do.  I’m really glad that the community has been so welcoming and I’ve met people that I feel genuinely connected to right away!  It’s exciting, and since a lot of the Baha’i community tends to be a bit international, I think there are a lot of sympathetic souls ready and waiting to lend an understanding ear.

So things aren’t particularly easy at the moment.  We’re still stressed about some things, I’m still a bit lonely, but I’m doing really well and I’m really happy about where we are.

Oh!  But one last thing…

We have our second (and probably last) ultrasound coming up next Friday.  The thing is, this is the one where one can normally tell if the baby is of the boy or girl persuasion.  We’re having the hardest time deciding whether or not to find out now, or to wait until it actually makes its entrance into the world.

I originally thought I would never find out, that it’s more exciting, and makes it easier to buy gender-neutral clothing, etc.  But the closer we get to the ultrasound, the more tempting it is to find out.  We’re also having a lot of trouble finding any boy-name possibilities we love, so we’d kind of like to be spared the trouble if it’s not even a boy after all (although I have a pretty good feeling that it is), and we’re going to mostly be using hand-me-downs as far as clothing goes, so we would be able to know ahead of time from whom we should borrow.

Thoughts?  Pros?  Cons?

I think we might end up flipping a coin…

Danish Courses: Take Two!

This Wednesday, I started in my new course at Studieskolen.  The last course I took wasn’t really what I was hoping for, as you might remember from my whiney posts about it.  It was a mix of everything and had us practicing vocabulary, pronunciation, writing, reading, listening, and speaking in general.  It’s a well-rounded course, and I’m sure if you build up from knowing absolutely no Danish and go through the courses from the beginning, it makes a lot of sense, but for me, it didn’t.

Because I learned to speak by listening, speaking, reading, and writing a bit, I can get by in daily life really well.  I can have conversations, and my accent, while definitely there, is decidedly not American, and I think I can blend in pretty well.  What I can’t do very well, is write.  It’s not just the spelling, but I’m completely missing any knowledge of Danish grammar.

So I talked with my teacher from my last class, and she switched me to a class for written Danish in particular.  The first day, he did what was a review of basic sentence structures to most of the class, but for me, it was all new.  I was hurriedly scribbling notes, filing away the new vocabulary (like the Danish word for “substantive clause”) and trying to soak up as much as possible.  I felt like everything we learned was completely new to me, and I was so happy about it.

This is what I wanted.  So even though I spent hours on the homework today (and am pretty sure that I got about half of it wrong), and I’m still not finished, I’m really glad.  When I was in my last course, I would think to myself “this is what school was like?  This is awful.  Maybe I don’t like this after all.”  But today, I really felt like I was back in school, struggling a bit, challenging myself, and feeling like I was learning a ton!

Although I hope that not every class will be quite as overwhelming as Wednesday’s was, I’m so glad to be learning new things, and to feel like I’m on a track to quickly improve my Danish skills (a track I need to be on since I decided to take the big Danish test in May).

To end, here’s a picture of me sitting curled up with my homework today (I’ve missed this so much!!).  If you look closely, there’s evidence of the baby (in the form of my protruding belly) at the bottom.  I’ve got a homework buddy!

Language Woes

So, I never thought that I would even think this, but it ran through my head during Danish class the other day.  ”Maybe it would’ve been better if I just hadn’t learned a word of Danish yet.”

Now, I know I’ve been posting about my language class a lot, but bear with me a little longer!  There’ll be some variety on the horizon, I promise.  But for now, you’ll hear a bit more about my Danish courses.

Because I’ve learned so much Danish already, I got to start at a higher level in my Danish classes.  The problem is that I’ve learned Danish pretty much like a child would learn it.  So, while I can speak fairly well and with little accent, I’ve never bothered to learn what the imperative verb form is or what the specific plural form of various nouns look like.

I was really looking forward to being “back in school” and learning things in a classroom setting.  I’ve always been good at and liked school.  But not only is the class a bit too easy and slow for me, it’s just really frustrating.  I’m behind on all this technical grammar stuff, and way ahead on vocabulary, listening and speaking skills, and reading.  Now that I’ve experienced learning a language the “natural” way, I can’t fathom how people can actually learn it in a classroom.  I speak Danish inexplicably better than I ever spoke Spanish, which I studied for seven years. I don’t know how I had so much patience for it when I was in school.

Now, the classes I’m in are leading up to the Danish Test 3 which is the “big test” for Danish.  Passing it basically means you officially speak Danish, and I’m definitely looking forward to the day I pass so that I have some sort of official papers stating that I can, indeed, speak Danish.  The test is only offered twice a year, in May and in November.  I talked with my teacher after class the other day and she said I might be on track to take it in May (although it’s a bit early according to how many weeks of classes I’m supposed to have left before I’m “ready”).  The problem is that I’m going to the US in May.  We would go earlier, but Andreas doesn’t get any vacation time until May, and we can’t go later for various reasons.  And the test is on my birthday.  Great.

I was really looking forward to Danish classes also just as a way to connect with other people, and have some sort of social contact.  It is that for me, and I’ve really enjoyed talking with the people in my class during the break, before and after class, and even during our little Danish “conversation” times, but I don’t even know if that’s worth it.  The class is two nights a week, and since Andreas and I have been so busy, and are hosting an unusual amount of visitors, those two evenings a week that I lose with him are actually a lot of our time together.

It’s only my fourth class this evening, and I’m already not looking forward to going.

At least I’m not nervous…

Danish Class: First Impressions

Yesterday evening, I attended my first Danish class.  After I wrote my post yesterday, I spent most of the day waiting for the nerves to kick in.  Oddly enough, they never did.  I caught my buses, and got there early.  The only time I felt anxious was the five or ten minutes before our classroom opened up, when I was standing around in the hallway, unsure of what the pre-class protocol is.

Now, when I was really little, I was obsessed with playing school.  We had an assortment of textbooks in our house, ranging from a health book written in 1952 to a couple of algebra books.  I remember pretending I had mountains of homework before I even started kindergarten: practicing copying the letters out of my thick Winnie-the-Pooh book (because any book over an inch thick was also considered a textbook).  When I started first grade, I was excited.  I was finally out of kindergarten.  I’d be getting a desk to put my school supplies in, instead of sitting at a table, and I figured I would be getting homework.  And I did.  The first time I got homework, I couldn’t wait to get started on it.  I had my after-school snack and then sat down at the table with my older siblings and a sharpened pencil.  The homework took me less than five minutes to finish.  I felt let-down.  My sisters were just getting started on their reading, writing, math, etc. and I was already done.  I felt jipped.

I felt the same way yesterday on my way home.  I’m really excited to be in Danish class, but I was a bit disappointed at how easy the class is.  I was nervous about being behind, but I didn’t even think about the fact that the class might be too easy.  I really like my teacher, and the practice in speaking is really great, but it’s not any more helpful than speaking with Andreas and his family is.  I’m hoping maybe it will get more challenging as the class progresses, but in the meantime, it takes a lot to not be bored.

I also had forgotten how it felt to be in a class that was a little too easy for me.  I feel like I’m suffering from Hermione Granger syndrome.  I try to choose carefully which questions I answer, and I always wait around for other people to chime in first, but I already felt like I was a know-it-all (although I don’t think I come off that way.)

Nevertheless, it’s nice to get out of the house and meet a few people, and maybe after this module, it’ll get a little more advanced.

Danish Classes!

So today is a big day for me!  I’m starting Danish classes tonight!

I wanted to get into a daytime class, but the one at my level was full, so I have to leave soon after Andreas gets home from work, and don’t come back until after 10.  After I get used to it, it probably won’t be a big deal, but especially today, I wish I could just “get it over with.”  Fortunately my anxiety is surprisingly less than I expected, so I’m hoping it holds out through the day, and I’ll try to start my next knitting project to distract myself further.

I, of course, have the standard anxieties about being in the wrong level, not knowing as much as the other students, and sounding ridiculous when I speak Danish, but luckily, I’ve had lots of practice with that last one!  I also expected to feel really anxious about meeting new people, and the prospect of probably having to work and speak in groups (my least favorite thing about any type of class ever) but I am surprisingly calm.  Maybe because I’ve been feeling sick, and I’m more anxious about feeling like I’m going to throw up in the middle of class than I am about talking to people, but also possibly because I’m really ready.  I got used to having a certain amount of social contact in Sweden.  We knew our neighbors and would say hello and chat when we ran into them.  I had my weekly knitting group to go to (which I miss desperately) and I would occasionally see these people around town.  There’s something really comforting about running into people you know “around town.”   Something that makes you feel like you belong.

Since moving to Copenhagen, I’ve met just about no one.  Lately, it’s started to take a toll on me, and I’ve been feeling really lonely.  Usually, I treasure alone time (and I still do) but I think I may have “filled my tank” and maybe I’m actually ready to meet and speak to people who aren’t Andreas or…..Andreas.

Wish me luck!

One for the Blog

Today, I did something.

I took the level placement test for my Danish classes!  I don’t think I’ll start until early January (if they even have room for me then) but I’m on the road!  I’m applied and everything!  Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how I did because the tester didn’t, and I was too scared to ask.  Scared that either 1) they wouldn’t tell me or 2) they would, and I would be disappointed.  So I guess it’ll just have to be a surprise when I get called in to start classes!  She said I was pretty good, so I’m not particularly worried about starting at the bottom, so I’m okay with the “surprise factor” for now.  I’ll just try not to think about it too much and get my curiosity a-stirring.

But that’s not really the part I wanted to talk about.

i was really nervous about this.  Like, really super belly-dropping nervous.  Of course I was nervous to be “evaluated” and to have to talk to a stranger in Danish (while being nervous) but mostly I was nervous about the journey there.  I’m a big fan of public transport, don’t get me wrong, but I’m still not comfortable using it here in Copenhagen.  I decided on a route last night that would take me onto two busses I’ve ridden before, and I figured that was that.  I would be golden!

Well, I got on the first bus just fine, using my handy-dandy blue-spot travel card.  You can use this all over Denmark and just have to check in and out on the blue spots when you start and end a trip.  Anyway, the first bus and the bus transfer went surprisingly well.  I was able to find where the other bus stopped and it came and I got on it and everything!  But things went downhill from there.  Apparently there has been some sort of adjustment to the route and it went to a certain station and just…..turned around.  And started going back.  And I started panicking!  I asked the bus driver if he didn’t stop at the stop that I needed, and he just said “No, I turned around.” So I got off at the next possible stop (a good three quarters of a mile from where I had to be in 9 minutes!).  So, I hesitated for a second realizing that I could have just stayed on the bus, and gone home and done it again tomorrow OR I could make a run for it.

Good thing I started running this summer because otherwise I don’t think I would’ve made it!  As it was, I made it with 2 minutes to spare and was shown into the room with four or five other women, completely breathless and red in the face.  Whoohoo!

un-under-over-qualified

So the other day I dipped my baby toe into the world of job searching.  I found a pretty standard job search site, which, while it was in Danish, I could figure out pretty well.  Then it all sort of went to hell.

I have no idea what I can do here.  I occasionally curse myself for not having a very valuable college degree, and not a whole lot of work experience.  I don’t know how to make a Danish CV (although I’m sure Andreas and probably the job center can help me out with that when I’m ready) and I don’t know what I’m qualified to do.  I don’t know how far I can get with the Danish skills that I’ve taught myself, and I fear that it’s nowhere near far enough.  There are a few jobs I think I’d like, but besides the possible language barrier, I don’t know if you have to have any specific education to have that sort of position (a helper at a daycare).  The ads didn’t mention anything like that, and although I’m sure they could let me know, if I called, I’m not quite to that point yet.

I’m not feeling particularly discouraged, (surprisingly, considering my history of being easily discouraged) but I am feeling a bit confused and leery.  I’d like to have work, but I should first probably concentrate on wedging myself into a Danish class as soon as I can.  I have a feeling I’ll have to pass a certain level before I can start midwifery school (if I even get into midwifery school) so that’s the priority, really, but I am also looking forward to maybe being able to contribute a bit, and since we’ve just moved and still need to buy quite a few things, we could use the extra money!

I’ll do a better search another day, maybe with Andreas peeking over my shoulder, and then after that see what the job center can help me with, but first, I’ll see what I can do about these Danish classes…

It’s really strange, having things to arrange and think about.  I have to shift out of neutral and get to work, but it’s pretty hard, considering I’ve been keeping myself in neutral for a pretty long period of time…we’ll see how much luck I have on that front…

Anyway, I almost blogged every day in November, and am pretty excited about that!  Now for the first day of December, and a nearby flea market!

Close Call

As I was in bed, just about falling asleep, I remembered that I did not blog today! So, with 24 minutes to spare, I let the bright laptop light assault my eyes, just for you guys!

I wanted to touch upon something kind of huge that happened yesterday.  I got a Danish personnummer!  It’s sort of like a social security number, only not nearly as secret.  Andreas decided to take off early so we could go to the office together (since he had to go too, to move his address back to Denmark from Sweden).  The nearest office was only about a 10 minute walk away, but when we arrived, we were informed that only one office in Copenhagen handles “moving-in” so we scooted off to the bus stop and were lucky enough to make it to the central office pretty quickly.  The wait wasn’t long, and while there was a hiccup in putting in the data, everything went smoothly.  It didn’t feel hard-won or difficult.  It felt really easy.

I thought I might get a packet…something like “Welcome to Denmark, Foreigner!” but I only got a piece of paper with my personnummer on it, that I can use until I get the actual card.  This (I think) means I can do all sorts of official things now, like get a bank account, sign up for language courses, etc.  Now, I haven’t done any of those things yet (I’ll figure them out with Andreas as we get to them) but it’s still exciting that I CAN!

In other news, the construction workers managed to flood my kitchen today (which resulted in a short circuit and turned off all the power in my apartment).  Luckily, I’m not completely helpless (sometimes), so I was able to sop up the mess, figure out which socket was shorting and turn the power back on myself.  The fact that I couldn’t watch Netflix unless I fixed it was motivation enough.