Knitting Group Excursion

Today I ventured out, ignoring my nerves and acute homebody-syndrome, and went to a knitting group for international people.  I spent most of the day being rather nervous about going, and the few hours before being really nervous about going, and the fifteen minutes prior to leaving being dreadfully nervous about going.

I’ve only met approximately one person since being here (and she was from the states to begin with) so I guess it makes sense that my anxiety would reach what felt like an all-time high today with the anticipation of meeting six whole new people!  For the record, I met seven and they were absolutely lovely.  It was a nice evening, cozy, and everyone was very nice and welcoming, although I think I was a bit too anxious to really appreciate it.  I’m looking forward to the next meetings, and especially looking forward to being less nervous for them!

I don’t think this is something I’ll ever “get over” but I guess with practice, it may become easier.  However, I’m still due to have a bit of a cry over it all (not because anything went wrong, but just because I spent so long strung out on anxiety that I need to let some of it out somehow).  Something to look forward to tomorrow, I suppose, and then I’ll probably feel lots better.

This social anxiety stuff is an awfully bad trait for a person in my position to have, but I’m trying to use it as a learning and growing experience instead of just avoiding all social contact, because as I always end up discovering, being lonely and depressed is actually worse in the long run than suffering some adrenaline-streaked social events to pave the way for real friends.

Here’s to hoping I have the courage for more!

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5 thoughts on “Knitting Group Excursion

  1. Good for you for at least pushing yourself to do it again! I think no matter what kind of person you are, you go through at least a bout of social anxiety when moving to a new country. I definitely am a person who can get along with just about anyone and don’t really have anxiety at all, but when I first moved here I was terrified of even going to the store! I was so afraid a Swede might talk to me and then I wouldn’t understand and then I’d have to either run away or sheepishly ask if they could speak Swedish, it was a terrible feeling. I remember feeling not myself at all since in the US I was so confident with everything. You never had to think about going to the store before! But I’m glad it all went well for you. =) Where were the people from, do you know? And what area of Sweden are you living in?

    • 🙂 Thanks so much. Being in Sweden definitely amplifies my anxiety! I definitely know what you mean about being terrified about going to the store. Luckily, I’ve gotten over that, but knowing I have to really interact with people makes me extra nervous about going somewhere, but now I did it once, it feels more doable in the future. There was one other American there, a couple of people from Canada, and I don’t know about the rest, actually. I’m living in Skåne, in Malmö.

      • Oh okay, so you’re not far from Denmark at all, at least. Glad to hear you feel it’s more doable! =)

  2. You go girl!
    I’ve been in Norway for over twenty years now and sometimes I’m still afraid to put myself out there, but its the only way to conquer our fears and make our new world feel like home.

  3. I understand how you feel. I’m not quite a hermit crab, but putting yourself out there, especially in a foreign place, can be stressful and scary. I was due to meet with a bookclub last week and wound up missing for valid reasons, but probably also a little social-avoidance was involved. All of which is funny because back home, everyone perceives me as outgoing and gregarious. They never believe me when I tell tham I’m shy. Being in Sweden has certainly brought it all back out, but I also have to force myself to go beyond those barriers. Keep going, each one gets better!

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