To tide you over…

As per request of my sister, I’m working on my birth story to post here.  I know birth stories aren’t for everyone, but I figured if I post a warning, no one can complain 😉  It’s taking forever-long, so I thought in the meantime, I’d better give an update on our daily life!

All in all, things are getting better.  I know this.  But there are still rough days (and nights!).  The biggest victory is that he goes to bed (usually around 8) and stays there!  That doesn’t mean he doesn’t wake up and whine, but we’ve managed to teach him that he doesn’t get to get up and play again, and that’s progress!  We’ve had some pretty good nights (with around 4-5 wake-ups) and some NOT as good ones (like last night with at least 11) but overall, I think we’re headed in the right direction.  He doesn’t eat as often at night anymore, and I’m hoping he’ll just gradually drop some of his wakenings, as he learns that there’s no food waiting for him, and he doesn’t get to get up and play or cuddle.  Usually, it’s a simple pop-the-pacifier-back-in or rub his belly and he’s back asleep, so I’m remaining optimistic here.

That said, this morning I actually wept when I realized I had to get up for the day.  Theo woke around every fifteen minutes starting at 4 am, and was up for the day around 7:30 (after having been awake in his crib for about an hour).  I was shattered.  I was so tired.  I think I would have had an easier time just getting up at 4 am than getting up every few minutes to shush the baby, falling back into bed and immediately passing out, only to wake up again 10 minutes later.  But I’m blaming it on a big poo that just wasn’t happening (but that did happen when we went out–go figure…), and not taking it as a sign of habits to come.

We’re also doing solid foods, bit-by-bit, and soon he’ll be six months and able to have most things, which I’m excited for.

All-in-all, things seem to be settling into almost a sort of routine, which is wonderful.  As long as things keep heading in this direction, we’ll be okay.  Andreas and I have gotten a few evenings together lately, and I really feel like we’re connecting again.  Not that we were ever disconnected exactly, but when you have precious little time to spend together, and when one or both of you is grumpy and/or hopelessly tired, it’s next to impossible to feel as “together” as you do in those first couple of child-free newly-wed years.  I feel like we’re getting that back (although it doesn’t just come–we’re definitely working for it).  I’ll sometimes sacrifice some sleep to stay up and have a cozy evening with Andreas, and he’ll try to be more helpful around the house, and step away from his computer in his scarce free time to really talk with me, have coffee, and just laugh!  We’re starting to laugh a lot more–probably even more than we did before Theo came along, and it just feels really good.

One thing that’s also helping me a lot is starting to knit again!  I’ve had a hard time really relaxing since Theo was born.  I always seem to have at least seven things on my mind, and four un-done tasks hanging over my head.  So even when I try to relax–either browsing online, watching TV, even reading–I feel like I’m only half-relaxed, and the other half of my brain is buzzing and nagging.  But I started a hat the other day, a simple lace pattern, and realized that knitting fills my mind just enough to push out any other thoughts, and still allow me to really let go.  It’s been amazing to spend even a few minutes every day with the yarn and needles, and just *breathe*.

It seems like even that second cup of coffee is wearing off now, so I’d better get moving before I fall asleep and drool all over the couch.  Here’s a few pictures from the past few weeks, and a promise of a birth story as soon as I can manage it!

DSC_2498 DSC_2662 DSC_2706 DSC_2716 DSC_2739 DSC_2799


4 thoughts on “To tide you over…

  1. I remember cross-stitching when my girls were little and napping – I felt just the way you describe, “fills my mind just enough to push out any other thoughts, and still allow me to really let go.” It’s essential for your mental health as a new Mom! Reconnecting with your husband is also essential. I know the nights can be overwhelming…but it *does* get better, and sounds as if it is.

    Theo is adorable! Your photos capture his personality.

  2. Theo is so cute! I keep thinking about the post you wrote after Theo was born and how difficult sleeping had been. It’s helped me so much the past few weeks when I am getting no sleep. You’ve been on my mind. 😊

    • You have my sympathy, and my internet hugs! I just went back and re-read the posts from the early days. I don’t think I’ll ever forget how hard it was–but it *has* gotten a bit better. You’ll get through it 🙂

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