For What I’m Worth

Today, we picked up my new bike.  It’s a beauty, and I’m so excited, but there’ll be another post on that.  This one is about our savings and how they’re disappearing before our eyes.

We’ve been really good at saving.  We usually don’t spend much more than we really need to.  Andreas has a good job, and we’ve been living fairly cheaply (for Copenhagen), so over the past year and a half, we’ve saved up quite a bit.  But suddenly, we had to pay for our new apartment deposit, a nearly $2,000 dentist bill, four new appliances, two bikes, and everything that goes with them, and we still haven’t bought the extra furniture we’ll need for the (much, much) bigger (and more expensive) place.

These are all things we need, but that doesn’t really make it easier to see the money disappear.  Especially now that our rent is being doubled and we won’t be able to save up as quickly (if at all) anymore.  This has me thinking about a job.  We won’t be going into debt, and we’re not irresponsibly throwing away all of our money, but spending everything that we earn every month makes me uncomfortable.

I’ve considered running a home day care here (with just one or two other little ones), but I’m also really attracted to the idea of working out in the Real World.  Both have their pros and cons, but to be honest, I’m feeling so insecure that neither of them sound feasible.  How will I come in contact with people who need my daycare services?  What if it was too isolating?  What if I met people who wanted a home daycare, but they just didn’t like me?  And the other options are even scarier.  How the heck do I start writing a Danish CV?  I still haven’t gotten up the courage to go to the Job Center yet, probably partly because I’m afraid they’re going to tell me that getting a job that has to do with writing/editing/language is a completely unattainable goal, and that I should aim for food service–a field in which I have an abundance of experience and absolutely no interest in continuing.

The real, concrete worst case scenario is that I can’t get a job or find any way to make money, and we just have to be extra careful with our spending.  But what I’m really terrified of is the extra blow to my self esteem and confidence that I just don’t feel I can afford.  I haven’t had the opportunity to get out there, and really try yet.  And now that I do, I’m just not sure I can handle the rejection.

But at some point (that point being in the next few weeks), I’m going to have to just…do it.  As oversimplified and generic as that sounds, I will.  I’ll have to go to the Job Center, and maybe the person will tell me that it doesn’t look good.  But the most important thing to me is that, even if that does happen–and I have to hold back some tears, and face dingy, unimproved options–at least I have Andreas to come home to.  If I cry about that, he will understand, because he’s the best, and Theo’s the best.  And even if I get a super lame job, or no job at all–the important people are still there–sharing grapes, fake burping, and needing me.  Because regardless of what I’m worth to anyone else, I’m kind of the bee’s knees around here.



3 thoughts on “For What I’m Worth

  1. I totally understand your fears, but when I went to the job center (in Aarhus) after just arriving they were really nice and not at all condescending. We were focusing on me getting jobs where my native English language skills were a benefit, but still they worked with me instead of just telling me that I was being unrealistic. So I don’t think it will be as bad as you think! Also, if you do a dagpleje, could you advertise within the expat/international community in Copenhagen? They might like to have someone who knows Danish/Denmark but also is a native English speaker, so you can continue to talk to the kids in English or the parents don’t have to worry about speaking Danish when communicating with you. It was hard for me to do, but when I was looking for a job everyone kept telling me to think of my native English skills as an actual, marketable skill. And do they have a WorkInDenmark in Copenhagen? I went through their spouse program in Aarhus, and they were really really helpful, especially with formatting your CV and on how to contact businesses.

    Good luck!!

    • Ahh, thanks! That does make me feel a bit better. I think I’m mostly nervous because I don’t have any real experience in the field that I’d like to get into–so I guess I would have these same fears and problems if I was looking for a job in the US anyway, haha! And I’m definitely going to try the expat community! The good thing is that I’m confident in both Danish and English, so we’ll see where it takes me! I guess what’s best is to relax about it until I actually make the appointment in a few weeks and just see how it goes. For now, I’m stressed out enough about the move, haha!

  2. I love your sentence “’m kind of the bee’s knees around here.”. I am always having to remind myself that while outsiders might not give a hoot about me in my house I am a VIP! Good luck with the job search I am the same so have just been at home for years….

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