In exactly one week, Iwill be standing in my new workplace, most likely quite sweaty and anxious, beginning the Next Big Thing. The Summer of Zeta is well nigh ended, and my feelings are mixed. I had a wonderful summer, but the anxiety and nervousness snuck in early, and my levels of stress have been climbing for weeks.
I’m heading into the unknown–I don’t know how we’ll make our daily routine work, how Theo will react to my new busy-ness, or quite honestly, how I will. I don’t know how to say goodbye to this charmed life I have been lucky enough to live, and throw myself into the scary grind of a full-time working mother. How will I react to the end of endless alone time–will it be the introvert’s nightmare, overstimulation every single day–or will it be really what I needed, the chance to joke with colleagues, and hear more points of view than just my own on repeat? Will I miss being able to make the rather time-consuming, delicious dinners I always have, or will it almost be a burdened lessened, when we find ourselves eating veggie burgers at least once a week?
I want to only be looking forward to this next adventure, but I find myself more mourning what I will be leaving behind for the foreseeable future. Never again will my life be like it is now. And in some ways that will be good, and some things I will probably miss forever.
One of my goals for the summer that I did not meet was to blog more–you have probably noticed that I let that one slide, but mostly I have been successful, and I will fill you all in on the details next time.
Since I last wrote, Theodore has started preschool, and turned three, both with remarkable success! While I can’t help but worry about my small son in preschool with all of the bigger kids (he’s one of the youngest, of course, and definitely the smallest!), he seems to be fine. His older cousin goes to preschool the same place, so they are fast friends. Without her, I think he would be lost. I hope he makes more friends soon–but I know that that is more for my own sake than his. He seems content to either play with his cousin or play alone, and I am confident that when he is ready to play with the others, he will. He doesn’t seem as tired and overwhelmed at the end of the day as I expected, which is a relief, as his days will soon be longer. In short, Theo is a trouper, and I am proud.
Now, I have to try and tackle a few more things from my list during this last week of freedom and rest (and also turn in the library book that is due today that I just managed to finish in time). I’ll come soon with an update on The List and what we have been busy with!