I would apologize for my absence, but I don’t think anyone expected much out of me after the last update 😉
The past few months have been busy, and tough. January was ridiculous at work all. month. long. February started out just as hectic, and though I took a week’s vacation to relax, it was still pretty overwhelming when I came back. The new intern, to take my place, started in February, so most of my last few weeks were spent with her, trying to teach as much as I could, finish up my own things, and make as many “instruction” documents as possible. It felt good to leave with pretty much everything done that I needed to do, although I have to admit that I feel for the new intern. I had six months with the “senior intern” at the desk across from me–someone to peek over my screen to when I needed a little help, and my replacement had about a month with that same help. But I am sure she will do great, and it feels good to put work stuff behind me and start focusing on the babies.
Speaking of the babies, they are doing great! They’re over three pounds each now, both growing right on track, and partying constantly. The only downside is that they are both breech at the moment, but there is still time for them to turn so that I can maybe avoid a Cesarean section–although the other downside of two breech babies is four feet aiming kicks at my bladder and cervix, so…that’s fun.
Honestly, it is still hard for me to imagine and realize that we really are having two babies. It seems so surreal, and I don’t know what to expect…at all. I thought that having my second baby would be a bit more relaxing, as I would know what to expect after Theo, but now I feel that it’s a whole new world! I am hoping that getting more things prepared in the next few weeks will help reality set in, and I can really start getting excited about these girls!
We still have a lot of big stuff to take care of. The biggest is purchasing our first car–a big car. We’re making progress and moving forward, but it’s such a huge purchase, and we feel a lot of pressure to really get it right, so it’s been a bit stressful. We also still need to buy a stroller, baby monitor, other various equipment… It can be overwhelming when I think about it, but again–I am hoping that after I get some time to relax, I’ll have time and energy to get these things sorted, and things will fall into place!
When I stopped work, I rather expected a huge release. I have been stressed and anxious about work, balancing my time and energy, etc. since December, and I was really looking forward to not having those worries anymore, but instead of such a release, the anxiety was rerouted to starting back up at work (when the twins are around 14 months), how we will make that work, etc. The anxiety peaked last week, and was really hard for me to deal with. But I spoke to my midwife about it on Monday, and I am going to talk to my doctor about a referral for someone to talk to about it (which is honestly long overdue). They also have a program for people at higher risk of post partum depression, that she put me into, which includes an extra visit from the health visitor before the babies are born, so I can get to know her, a tour of the labor and delivery unit to help with anxiety around the birth, etc. I am really glad to know that there is help, and proud of myself for being able to talk with someone about it, finally!
This has gotten really long, so I think I’ll do a separate twin/pregnancy update really soon!