A Mid-March Update

Alas, it seems as though my resolution of keeping up my blog was mostly good intentions.  I’ve had several ideas for posts, and absolutely zero follow-through, which brings us to an update post, simply so my existence isn’t completely forgotten.

These days, I am alive, but hungry.  We’re in the homestretch of the Baha’i Fast, which means no eating or drinking during daylight hours.  It’s been just as challenging as anticipated, especially the part about getting up pre-dawn to eat, and Theo waking up as soon as we finish eating, and not having coffee as a mid-morning pick-up, but I am making it through.  This is actually one of my best fasts yet, I think, as I have yet to be too sick to fast, or to accidentally eat something!

Schoolwork has been a bit stressful, but I am really proud of how it is going, especially today after a particularly successful online presentation!  Whenever I’m a bit low on self-esteem, I just think about how awesome it is that I’m fluent enough in another language to do “real” school, and how cool that makes me.  And if that doesn’t work, I take a typing test.

It has also been tough for me lately to find a balance between schoolwork, housework, and family time.  I’ve been feeling a bit overburdened, especially when fasting is added to the mix, and it’s proving hard to find a solution or compromise that really improves things.

Theo has also become a regular child, in that he no longer needs 13 hours of sleep per night, and a two-hour nap (Oh, how I miss the days!).  So, he’s getting up early, which was a hard reality to face in the beginning, but is easier now.  And potty-training is right around the corner so I’m sure that will prove interesting.

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Our trip to the states is also coming up when my school is finished, and I am getting more and more excited!  Besides seeing my family, I have to admit that I am SO excited to be in an American grocery store again, and go out to eat AMAP (as much as possible).  Aaaaand I just realized that the couple of kilos that are coming off during the Fast are probably very quickly going to be returned to me.  Maybe I’ll make some room in the suitcase for my running shoes…

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CV, cover letter, resume, ansøgning?

Hello again!

I know it’s been a while, but I don’t think any of you expected any different when you heard I was moving, haha!  The past three weeks have been an incredible challenge, with rewards here and there, and some extra challenges-on-top-of-challenges along the way.  The good news is that we’re mostly pretty much moved in and settled!  While there are still several boxes unpacked, and lots of things that don’t really have a home yet, we’re getting there, and the worst is over.  I was going to wait until everything was done to do a small house tour and photos, but I realized that if I do that, no one will see the new place until next June, so I’ll be back soon with all of that!

But for today, you get to hear about my job search.

As I said, I was going to start my job search after we moved.  In my head, I was thinking of November sometime, but as a friend of mine heard of a an opening at her workplace, I got a kick in the butt, and got started on my first application just a few days after the move.

Here’s where it gets embarrassing.

See, I’ve never really applied for a “real” job before.  I did volunteer work, and worked as a catering server, a janitor, and a nanny.  These jobs mostly required a patched-together resume, and an application with personal and contact details.  As I was writing my CV for this job, Andreas kept asking me if I’d written my “ansøgning” (literally translated to “application”) to which I’d reply, “well, sure…” figuring that I’d fill in an application when I uploaded my CV.

Little did I know, an ansøgning is a cover letter, not an application.  Luckily, we caught our miscommunication early enough, but after struggling with my CV, I was quite dismayed over the fact that I’d now have to write a cover letter–something that seemed ten times harder!

It wasn’t exactly ten times harder (probably closer to three), but I finished in time, sent out my application, and was very pleased about the fact that I’d done it!  I’d applied for a job in Denmark!

I’ve written another one since, but today I decided to apply for my first Danish job.  In Danish.  I managed a translation of my CV, which wasn’t so bad, but now I’m supposed to be writing my cover letter, and…well…I’m writing this instead.

The biggest problem is not even the language–it’s that the format seems so foreign to me.  And then, well, there’s also the language.  I haven’t even gotten a single word down yet, and I’m already exhausted just thinking about the fact that I’m going to have to write a whole new one of these for each job I apply for.

It’s not even that I’m feeling discouraged, exactly, because I think I’m actually quite optimistic about my chances and all, but I do feel like a very small person looking up at a very large mountain, letting out a medium-sized sigh before I find my first toehold.

This is hard, guys.

I used to be smart…right?

Life abroad has its ups and downs.  Life as a mom has its ups and downs.  And I just hit downs on both.

Before I get into this, I just want to say that I know it’s totally normal to have moments and days and weeks like this.  Moving so far away from home, trying to settle into a new life with a new language, and putting forth every best effort to find friends is taxing.  I totally get that this is how it’s supposed to be, and this is how I’m supposed to feel.  And man is this hard sometimes.

I speak Danish well.  I was blessed with a language-learning head, a little bit of perseverance, and lovely, incredibly patient, in-laws who’ve helped me so much.  But honestly, I don’t speak Danish well enough to be 100% myself when I’m speaking it.  A lot of the time, the words come easily, but sometimes they don’t.  It’s great that I’m able to communicate fairly well, but it’s frustrating when my train of thought is constantly halting, jumping, and false-starting because I can’t fish the right words out quite quickly enough.  It’s frustrating to have a funny comment that I can’t quite figure out how to put into Danish words, or to be explaining something, only to give up halfway through because the round-abouts I’m taking to explain things I don’t know the words to are just too much.  To be blunt, I feel dumb a lot.  And when I think about it, of course I’m not dumb–I learned Danish for goodness’ sake.  But I still feel dumb.

And feeling dumb isn’t making the job thing any easier.  I’m not quite job-searching yet, but we’re moving in September, and I’m hoping to find some sort of a job in the fall/winter–whether it be an at-home daycare, or a job outside of the home.  But just assuming that the at-home daycare doesn’t work out, I’d have to job-search.  And that is scary.  Completely apart from having to do this all in Danish and in Denmark where I know very little about the job market, I feel totally unequipped to be job-searching.

I’m going to go to the job center in not too long, present them with my educational and work background, and just hear what options I have here in Denmark, which I’m sure will help a lot.  Because as of right now, I don’t feel like I can do anything.

For most of my life, I felt smart.  In first grade, I was reading chapter books.  In second grade, I got to learn cursive.  In third grade, I was the fastest typist in the class.  You get the picture.  This continued through elementary school, middle school, high school, and, surprisingly, even college.  I know it sounds super smug, but I just got used to being one of the “smart kids.”  And that was a huge part of my identity.

There was a time when I was in college, working three jobs.  And I turned out some of my best work that year, yet I also remember having time to have fun with my friends, and plan my wedding and our life together.  Nowadays, I’m proud of myself if I manage to vacuum once a week.  (Although, come to think of it, I don’t think I vacuumed more than once every couple of months back then…)

The thing is, I’ve been not much more than a wife and then a mom for the past couple of years, and I feel like I’ve gotten gradually less and less intelligent.  I also haven’t been able to have a job for two and a half years now, which leaves me feeling less than competent.

I know that at one point, I was really smart.  I know that at one point, I was even really confident, and I felt like I could really do anything.  These days, I don’t feel like there’s any job that I could do well.  In my head, I know that I would actually be the best candidate for many jobs–that I would do them well, and be happy doing them.  But in my not-head, I feel completely inadequate.

SO!

So, I’ve made a small plan to get myself back on track.  My goal for the week is to make up a list of books I want to read that I can get from the library in Denmark, and go get them.  And that’s pretty much it for now.  But I’m going to try to use Theo’s naptimes to do more than giggle at posts on BabyCenter asking how people sanitize their baby’s high chair trays (ummmm….wipe with the damp cloth I used to wipe the baby’s face, anyone?) and watch terrible TV.

It’s okay that I did those things, but now that I feel like I’m coming out of the survival mode fog, I feel like I need to get my self back, and a part of that self is reading, learning, writing, and doing smart things.

Any recommendations for books (they don’t have to be “smart” books, haha!) or ideas for getting that old confidence back?

 

How to Creat Life–the Danish Way

The first thing I did when I found out I was pregnant was hop online and start Googling.  I took a test first thing in the morning, freaked out (in a good way), and resolved not to tell Andreas until he got home.  I finished knitting him a pair of socks, knitted a tiny baby sock to go with them (my way of telling him the news), and then it was about noon and I had four and a half hours until I could tell anyone.  So I Googled.  I googled “pregnancy tips,” “pregnancy week-by-week,” and “early pregnancy symptoms.”  And then I googled “graviditet.”  A lot of the advice was common sense, and overlapped: Eat a varied diet with lots of fruits and vegetables, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t take lots of medicine.  But a lot of it differed, albeit perhaps slightly.  The American advice said not to drink coffee, or eat sushi, soft serve ice cream, lunchmeat, soft cheeses, sprouts, soft boiled eggs, smoked fish, or even anything at a potluck.

Well, I ate soft serve ice cream,  sprouts, smoked salmon, brie, goat cheese, and soft boiled eggs.  Oops.  But really only “oops” if I was Googling in English, because the Danish advice never mentioned sprouts, or ice cream.  And as far as most other things on the list goes, the official advice is to eat as fresh of food as possible–keep raw things cold, and pay attention to hygiene when you prepare food.  They also say outright that pregnant women can eat sushi.

I joined the August due-date birth board on Babycenter.com, so throughout my pregnancy, I would check the forum.  The American women went to their doctor every month until the third trimester.  After that it was every two weeks until nearer to the end when it was every week.  I saw my doctor four times during my pregnancy (one visit was an “extra” to do a quick blood pressure check), and my midwife about the same number of times.  I went two weeks overdue, so I had another midwife visit, and a couple days before my induction, a hospital visit.  To be honest, I don’t know what these women talked about or did at all these appointments.  I could barely think of questions to ask at my few appointments.

I saw enormously pregnant women biking happily down the street (well, at least they looked as happy as anyone biking in Danish weather ever looks).  I saw them walking, running, lingering over lattes, and putting away that out-loud-allowed sushi.  Andreas and I attended a sort of parent-prep class, which wasn’t quite like anything I’d read about anyone else’s prenatal classes.  We talked about our relationship as a couple, and how to best sustain that under the stress of a new baby.  We talked about the birthing process and nursing, and I have to say, there wasn’t this sense of anxiety that I often get when I talk to American women or read American forums.  It was “here are pain relief options–which ones do you think you prefer?” not “here are pain relief options–and there’s no medal for women who don’t use them–but there are definitely risks to some of them–and these decisions you’re making will impact your birth experience, your baby’s alertness, your breastfeeding process, and pretty much the rest of your baby’s life.”

After Theo was born, it as more of the same, to my great relief!  But I’ll write about that a different day, or this post will *never* leave my drafts!

I can totally do this…maybe.

So, when I finished my Danish classes, something weird happened.  In my final tests, I got great scores.  I could now “officially” speak Danish, and I knew that my skills had improved dramatically over the few months that I’d taken courses.  But being finished with Danish classes and just let loose in Denmark was more unnerving than I expected.

I suddenly felt that since I was done, and since I’d done well, I should just be able to do it all, and do it easily.  I became three times more self conscious every time I was supposed to speak Danish.  I hesitated over my “ø”s and panicked whenever someone couldn’t understand me the first time around.

The thing was, that before I took Danish classes, and I would make a mistake while speaking or writing, I’d think to myself “well, I’ve never even studied, I just learned on my own, so…that’s okay.”  And now that I’m done, I feel like “Well geez, I’ve taken my Danish exams and passed, I should really know better.”

Now that I know all the rules, I can often hear small mistakes while I’m speaking, and while I often go back and correct myself, sometimes that’s just too distracting, and it bugs me to hear them pile up.

On the other hand, I’ve been watching a bit more Danish TV since we temporarily have Viaplay instead of Netflix.  In the middle of watching the Danish version of “4 Weddings” I realized that I’m watching this show (while playing Candy Crush) for fun.  Without subtitles.  In Danish.  And I’m getting it.  I watch the news with Andreas, and understand probably just as much as I would if it was in English (there’s a lot of stuff about politics that I just can’t follow very well in general, regardless of the language).  When I go to the doctor or midwife, we speak Danish.  When I go to the store, and ask for help (this, also, is a new development for me), I speak in Danish.  I realized suddenly that I could totally just “do” life in Danish.  I completed a phone interview about Andreas and myself (for a study) in Danish.  On the phone.

It’s sometimes easy to forget how long you’ve come when you’re in the middle of everything.  Especially with our baby’s birth coming up pretty shortly, I haven’t done a whole lot of self-reflection (unless you count meticulously studying my stretch marks in the mirror to make sure I don’t have any new ones (which I always do)).

These last few weeks, I’m trying to be nice to myself.  I realize that everything’s going to be changing in a few weeks, and that’s huge.  I’m not the most “hardy” personality, and I get overwhelmed easily, so I know that now’s not the time to be pushing myself, or scolding myself for not being better, when I really have come a long, long way since we moved here in November.

In other exciting news: we bought a camera!  One of the real deals!  Well…an entry-level DSLR, which I’m sure will be “enough” for the two of us.  It came in the mail today, but I’m practicing my self-restraint, and not opening it until Andreas comes home (in about an hour!).  However, I’m really, really looking forward to learning how to use it, and being able to take lovely baby pictures right from the start!  It also means (hopefully) that the blog will be a little more colorful soon, as baby pictures are a lot more likely to make it on the blog than pictures of me with my enormous ball of a belly.

And … Breathe Out

I did it!

I passed my Danish test, with two tens and a twelve, good enough to be able to move on to the university-prep Danish class!  I still feel like it could hardly be over already, but I’m so, so relieved that it is.  The oral exam went well.  Better than I expected, although I came close to getting a lower grade because of my pronunciation of the weird Danish vowels (especially “ø”).  But I got my ten, and all is well!

I’m pretty sure I feel even more relief than I did when my finals were over in college.  Now all I have to do is get ready for the baby, and wait!

But I was thinking today how grateful I am for the Danish classes I had.  They were free (paid for by the state) and I learned so, so much in the five months that I was enrolled.  In the last class I was in, especially, I felt like I really made friends, and even though we might not stay really close, it gave me a taste of what having a normal life here was like.  I know it’ll happen someday, and having a glimpse into it now was really encouraging!  And who knows? Maybe we will stay friends!

There isn’t so much other news, since I’ve mostly been worrying about and preparing for my exam.  We’re starting to get more ready for the baby, taking a trip to IKEA, buying some cloth diapers (both the wiping-up-spit-up and the actually-used-for-diapers kinds) and starting to check things off of the “baby list”

I also made dirt cake, which is kind of a big deal.  Andreas said he probably wouldn’t eat much of it, since last time he tried it, he didn’t like it.  I held back my horrified gasp, and made half a recipe (which is a good idea, even if he was planning on eating a lot of it) and when he had his taste, he couldn’t get enough.  Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately, for me) he has allergies, and I made it with regular milk and cream, since he wasn’t planning on indulging, so he can’t have much.  But I can.  And it’s great.  When I got home from my test today, I let myself eat as much of it as I felt like! (which was two servings)!

So now that I’m finished with my Danish classes, I’m trying to make sure I organize my life a little bit more.  I’m going to try going to an international parents’ group I found on meetup (they have a coffee get-together every week for pregnant women and new parents), and I also found a knitting group that meets in a baby thrift store which I’m working up the nerve to try to go to.  I also have a half-finished puzzle on the coffee table.  The goal is to finish it before the baby comes, but what I didn’t consider when I started it is that it’s a lot harder to bend over/sit on the floor/reach the coffee table in general when you’re heavily pregnant.  But I can’t just leave it half finished or *gasp* take what I’ve done apart, so I’d best get to work on it!

In regards to photo-a-day June…well, on the afternoon of June 1st, I looked to see what the day’s topic was.  It was “morning.”  Seriously?  On the first day?  That didn’t bode well, and I haven’t really done much of it, but I have been more conscious about taking some pictures, so I’ll make sure to include some in my next post (I promise!!).  I would include a couple this time but…you know…I’m already sitting down, and my camera is in the other room so…you’ll just have to wait.

 

June 10th? Seriously?

It’s June 10th.  I can’t believe it’s already June 10th.  There’s nothing especially special about the date or anything, it just seems like all of a sudden it’s summer and not spring, and my exams are closer to being over than they are to having started, and also, my due date is in less than two months.  So there’s that.

My little sister is making her super long car trip with my parents over to Louhelen today, which reminded me that five years ago today, I was making the same trip, in the same car.  But back then, I had no idea that in just a couple of months, I’d be meeting the man I’d get to have a big ol’ crush on, fall in love with, marry, and quickly get started on a family with.  I was totally ignorant to how happy I was going to end up being, or how exciting (at times) and boring (at other times) and always really lovely our future was going to be.  I’m actually slightly secretly (well, not so secretly anymore, I guess) hoping the baby will be born on the five-year anniversary of when we met (August 11th) just because I’m a sucker for things like that.

In other, not as sentimental, news, my written exam went well.  As I explained last time, Denmark has a 12-scale grading system, which goes from -03 to 12 (-03, 00, 02(first passing grade), 04, 07, 10, and 12) and I had to get tens in both sections to go on to the university-prep level Danish class.  I got a 10 in the writing section, and a 12 in the reading-comprehension, and to be honest, I was slightly disappointed that I didn’t get a 12 in writing, because I’m that kind of nerd who was afraid of getting a four, but was secretly hoping for a 12 anyway.  But the point is that I passed with scores good enough to go on, so as long as I do well next Monday in my oral exam, I’ll be all set!

I’ve been working on my presentation, but got sick (again!) yesterday, which led to napping and not working on my presentation.  I’m back at it again, doing innumerable practice runs, and sneezing every few sentences, which throws my timing all off (it has to be two minutes long).  I’m also suffering from a constant layer of anxiety that won’t go away until next Monday at around 2 pm when I’m DONE.

The oral exam goes like this: Part One: student gives a two-minute monologue on a pre-assigned topic (mine is Crafting in Denmark- Tradition and Renewal, which sounds really boring, but was a gem in my eyes!).  Then three minutes are devoted for the examiner to ask student questions about said topic.  Part Two: Student randomly draws one of three topics (we don’t know what they are ahead of time) and is then given a couple of pictures that relate to the topic, which they have to then describe.  Then they spend the next four minutes answering questions about the topic.

It could go smoothly enough, and I’m obviously really hoping it does, but honestly I’m really freaked out about the second part, mostly.  It’s just so up to chance, and after looking at sample topics from previous years’ exams, I’m afraid of getting something like “crime and punishment in Denmark” or “surveillance” which I really don’t know how to talk about in English, let alone Danish.  So if anyone remembers, cross your fingers for me next Monday.

Anyway, the rest of June is pretty full, event-wise.  We have a non-baptism baptism to go to (basically just a baby-party, and who doesn’t like a baby-party?!), my test, Baha’i events, and in the two free-ish weekends, we have to start getting stuff ready for the baby because I can sense a panic attack right around the corner if we don’t “get on” that soon.  I think I’m beginning to feel the pressure after a recent growth spurt.  Andreas and I both felt like I stayed about the same size for a good month and a half, but we knew that a change was just around the corner, and boy were we right.  When I saw the photos from this week’s “belly picture,” I was pretty taken aback.  We don’t have any full-length mirrors in the apartment, and my view from “up above” is quite skewed, so I hadn’t realized I’d gotten quite this big:

Seven Months

Now that’s a lot of belly.  Two months to go!  Hopefully I get a bit of a break before the next growth spurt, because this guy’s getting heavy to cart around.

 

Big Danish Test Part 1: check.

Last week, I took the first part of my big Danish test.  Ever since, people have asked me how it went, and I’m never quite sure what to say.  It was a writing and reading-comprehension test, and I guess it went fine, but I can’t really say until I get the results (next week).  There were a lot of questions during the reading-comprehension part that I just wasn’t sure about, which is a little nerve-wracking, considering that was the part of the test that I was least worried about.  And the subjects for the written part were good, and write-about-able, so I’m hoping for the best.

Now I’ve started a new class specifically for preparing for the spoken part of the test (mine’s on June 17th) and am getting continually more nervous for that one, as I expected.  I’m practicing my weird Danish vowels, something I haven’t really focused on before, and again, just hoping to pull a good topic that I feel comfortable talking about (for example, education, as opposed to something like politics).  But we’re practicing a lot in class, which also gives us a good opportunity to use the phrases we’ve been stowing away for when we have no idea how to answer a question (like: “That’s a very broad question…” “I’ve never given that a thought, but I could imagine that…” etc.).  After all, it is a language test, not a test on how much we know about the given topics, so as long as we sound coherent, and fluent, that’s the most important thing.

I’m really excited for the big test to be over.  We get our oral results as soon as we’re finished with the exam, so at that point, I’ll know my whole score, and whether or not it’s good enough to qualify me for the next class, or if I’ll have to retake the test again in November.  I’ll feel better once I know that, and can start making a plan (or rather, hopefully not making a plan).  However, when I’m done with the test, I’ll have no more Danish classes, which are basically the only real thing I have going on in my life.  I’ll then have a good six to nine weeks to essentially “do nothing” although I’ll really be getting ready for (and freaking out about) the baby.

In other baby news, oh my goodness is it strong.  I got kicked in the belly yesterday so hard that it felt like someone snapped a really thick rubberband against the inside of my belly.  I gasped and clutched at my stomach, which really freaked Andreas out, and the spot’s still really tender.  I’ve also relapsed back into the first trimester exhaustion that I had in the wintertime, only now, I don’t get to sleep until 10 or 11 every day, and instead have to be up at seven, and it feels like torture.  Even today, when I got to sleep in until 9, I felt ready for a nap three or four hours later.  I’d sort of forgotten what all this was like and left it in the haze that was those first three months, but boy am I remembering.

However, I’m being ambitious tonight, and am going to try a new recipe (chickpea curry!) and even make some basic chocolate mousse (just chocolate and water) to eat with some strawberries I bought yesterday.  I was going to make strawberry shortcakes, but Andreas has been struggling with allergies lately (milk and sugar) and even though strawberry shortcakes are actually a pretty allergy-light dessert, I’d still feel guilty.  Luckily, I remembered the mousse from when I made it when we lived in Sweden, and I’m excited to try it  again!  Of course, there’s a bit of sugar in it, as there is in the sliced strawberries, but…you’ve gotta live a little.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to decide if I have time for a nap before I embark on kitchen adventures, since Andreas is going to badminton after work today and won’t be home until later…

PS-I realize that alllllll of my posts lately have been dry and pictureless, and that’s because I…haven’t been taking pictures.  But I’m trying to get better at taking some, and thinking about doing photo-a-day June, as well, to maybe get me started up again.

May

So there’s this “blog every day in May” thing going on, and here I am, letting my blog whither and die in May.  Oops.

I don’t even know quite what it’s been…But I’m hoping to pick it up again, and while I’m not going to resolve to post every day for the rest of May, I’m hoping to do a lot better than I have been doing!

So, my birthday is on Wednesday, but what is by far overshadowing that is that I have Part One of my Prøve i Dansk 3 which is my big Danish test (let’s call it PD3 so that I don’t have to keep switching back and forth between English and Danish keyboard configurations…).  I imagine it kind of like Mordor, casting its looming black shadow over the Shire (my birthday).  But the good news is that we’ve done a few practice tests, and I’ve gotten between 10 and 12 on all of them (on a 12-scale which looks like this: -03, 00 (which are both failing) then 02, 04, 07, 10, and 12)  Please don’t ask me why the scale goes from negative three to positive twelve because I am even more confused than you.  The important thing to know is that to get into the next class that I need to get into in order to take the next test which I need to pass to get into school here (whew!), I need to get at least 10s on every section of the test.  (I’ve been told that getting one seven might not be the worst, but, this is confusing enough as it is, so let’s just say 10s).  Wednesday’s test is the reading comprehension and writing sections, which is five to six hours of sitting and being tested.  Part Two of the test takes place on June 17th and is the oral part, which consists of me giving a monologue, then answering questions about it, then looking at pictures and talking about those.

I think that the anxiety and worry about those has been kind of squelching a lot of my joy lately, as well as Andreas being sick for a good five weeks, and then *tada!* I get sick with whatever it is that he had.  Luckily, I don’t think mine will last for five weeks, and I should be in okay stand to take my test on Wednesday.  So for now, I’ll just blow my nose every couple of minutes, and be thankful that the whole fever/aches/headache stuff happened over the weekend.

We’re also getting closer to August which is when Mini-Mine is due.  We managed to buy a cradle/hammock thing on Danish Craigslist a week ago, and I also got a nursing pillow, and we have a minimal amount of clothing (and some cloth diapers!) so we’re getting there…  What I’m most excited to get done is to set up some serious baby-stuff storage, so we have a place to put all these things.  In a less-than-500-square-foot apartment, it can get tricky to find space, but we’ll be creative, and luckily we don’t have too much junk of our own.

Being so overwhelmed with my tests, and other stuff in my life (mainly homesickness and friend-sickness) makes the whole baby thing seem a bit overwhelming at times as well, but what actually really helps me get excited for August is reading birth stories!  I’m not one to get grossed out about all that, and thinking about actually having our baby and being a family makes getting the apartment ready for a baby and adjusting to life here in Denmark a bit less overwhelming.  So for now, I’m just trying to focus on the positives, get over this cold, and ace my Danish tests.  I’m also switching Danish teachers (starting tomorrow) so of course, I’m nervous about that as well.  But as of June 17th, it’ll all be over, and I can maybe relax a bit more for a while.

I feel like I just have to hold on for the next month, and then it’ll all be okay.  It feels  a lot like how I felt before the last month of the semester in college, when work suddenly got crazy along with classes, projects, and finals, except this time, it’s just very important Danish tests.  I’m actually am getting a bit jealous of seeing everyone’s “finals are over!” posts and graduation pictures on Facebook, while I’m just starting over here.

I’m also bracing myself for waves of nostalgia and missing-people as two of my lovely friends back in the US are getting married within the next month, and I know I’m going to see photos on top of photos and wish I could be in them. *sigh*

Catch-up

So, I just realized that my last post was sort of a ditch of half-depression, and that I’d better get back to posting, lest everyone think I’m still living in perpetual “blah.”

I’m not, but honestly I’m not feeling the greatest yet either.  I’m still super stressed out about my test (both written and oral), fairly discouraged (depending on the day), and anxious about the future.  But…The trees are for real budding, and it hasn’t reached below freezing in probably two weeks now!  The bad news is that Andreas is still sick.  Still!  It’s been one thing after another, and if he isn’t sick for a day, he has allergies, but finally he’s going to see our doctor about it all and maybe get a referral to find out what he’s actually allergic to.  But his being sick meant that our three-day weekend (thank you Big Praying Day!), while not exactly a bust, wasn’t super fantastic either.  We’re crossing our fingers (yet again) for another good-weather weekend so maybe we can get out and do something FUN!  Like…you know…go downtown and use our Groupon deal at the super big candy store…

Danish classes have been going medium-well, probably.  The classes themselves are actually really good, and I feel like I get a lot out of them.  I’m also starting to feel comfortable with the other women in the class, so I’m generally not as nervous.  Except for today, when I had to give my little oral presentation in front of everyone, and my heart started pounding like crazy, and I spoke at a superhuman speed, and could barely catch my breath.  (Sorry, baby).

Hopefully we’ll still have quite a few writing assignments between now and the 22nd of May (which is the date of my written exam), and I can continue to get better.

In other news, I’m obviously pregnant.  As in, obvious to anyone who sees me.  I’ve been told I’m really big, I’ve been told I’m small, I’ve been told I’m having a boy, and that I’m having a girl.  I have yet to be offered a seat on the bus, but I don’t mind, since I’d usually turn one down, anyway.  Also, if it’s a short busride, I try to avoid sitting down, because I tend to forget to get off.  I’m not even going to pretend that’s due to what people call “pregnancy brain” because that’s just the fault of “Zeta’s brain.”

And in miscellaneous news, I made a chocolate-spotted cheesecake yesterday, and I am super duper looking forward to eating it, but I think I’m going to make myself wait until Andreas comes home today.  Just because.  I’ve also gotten a second (or, you know, seventeenth) wind with regards to the whole mealplanning/cooking thing.  I think it actually has something to do with the fact that when I have daytime classes, it’s super easy for me to stop at the grocery store on the way home.  This makes meal planning a bit less of a have-to-do-it-all-on-the-weekend-and-then-do-a-huge-shop sort of thing, and makes it a bit more flexible and fun, so I’m happy about that!  If I do the shopping by myself, it also gives Andreas and I a bit more time together in the evenings/weekends, and we’ve been using that time wisely.  By reading Mistborn out loud to each other…and the baby, as I realized today.

So now you’re mostly caught up, and I can maybe fit some of the more themed posts I had planned in the next few weeks.  We’ll see.  I’m trying to be easy on myself until my exams are over, since I’m super stressed out about them.